Top 16 reasons why you know the economy is bad
Hat tip to Steve Keen for these jokes.
This is how bad the economy is.
- My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
- Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can’t afford batteries.
- CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
- Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
- A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
- I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
- If the bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
- McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
- Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
- Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
- My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
- A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
- A picture is now only worth 200 words.
- When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
- The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
- And, finally….
- I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
Regarding CEOs and Exxon-Mobil: aren’t they both booking record profits during this recession? CEO pay is higher than ever, as are gas prices and oil company profits. I think CEOs are moving to bigger golf courses, and Exxon is hiring more congressman.
Good point. This was probably originally written in 2009 before the record profits and record bonuses on wall street and the ridiculous oil prices made a comeback.
What Dec 2008’s oil price near $31 demonstrated Edward was that if we all used less, and the rich are paid MUCH less, and the banks are kept in a more existential state of dire collapse (say we closed 90% of them – permanently – over 12 moths) … then we do in fact have enough food, and cheap enough oil and enough oil production to feed everyone sufficiently again.
Just sayin
Yes, if we have a deep downturn, demand comes off hard and prices collapse. But they rise again when the economy rebounds whether plutocrats are gaining disproportionately or not. Something has to give – and its price.
Regarding CEOs and Exxon-Mobil: aren’t they both booking record profits during this recession? CEO pay is higher than ever, as are gas prices and oil company profits. I think CEOs are moving to bigger golf courses, and Exxon is hiring more congressman.
Good point. This was probably originally written in 2009 before the record profits and record bonuses on wall street and the ridiculous oil prices made a comeback.
What Dec 2008’s oil price near $31 demonstrated Edward was that if we all used less, and the rich are paid MUCH less, and the banks are kept in a more existential state of dire collapse (say we closed 90% of them – permanently – over 12 moths) … then we do in fact have enough food, and cheap enough oil and enough oil production to feed everyone sufficiently again.
Just sayin
Yes, if we have a deep downturn, demand comes off hard and prices collapse. But they rise again when the economy rebounds whether plutocrats are gaining disproportionately or not. Something has to give – and its price.